Guns@BeMySelf

星期三, 5月 28, 2008

殺手的工具

“完美時機“和“頂尖的刺客“是一個預謀已久刺殺行動之必備

為了完成刺殺大業這一切的一切都必須小心保密,加上縝密的計畫,在遠方遙控全程的我緊密符監督這一個原本天衣無縫的計畫,在我們這一行的規矩,Key man彼此之間是絕無可能碰面,時間越來越緊急,所以在遠方的我十分著急,遠怕這安排許久的一切因為錯過了“26號這個完美時機“而白費了!

工具是最重要的,之前不能有在境內有任何作案記錄,且需要被祕密的交到刺客手上,所以我選擇K從香港搭乘漁船偷渡到台灣,一切都看26號下午了!

26號早上一早就先接到訊息,M順利的清早發動了第一擊,殺手M,果然沒有讓我失望,順利完成了安排的第一擊!

就看下午A的最後致命的一擊了!但是眼看已經到了五點沒有任何消息,我心中暗自擔憂A。

A生病了,他盡力了!所以我的把最後的希望放在我最擔心的Y..........還有最後2小時,都看他了!


但現在已經是28號了,殺手Y還把“工具“忘記在家...前兩天還因為管理員下班了和地址弄做所以拿不到“工具

.......這些彷彿是豆豆秀才會出現的橋段,竟然出現在我生活中!

這一切的一切一定都是老天爺的故意安排!我接受


但是對於這些盡力的殺手們 我衷心的感謝你們!

星期四, 8月 30, 2007

33歲就不要執意尋找100分的女孩了!

昨天在msn上po了這一句話
33歲就不要在執意尋找心目中100分的女孩了!
其實這是在JET台中的戀愛特訓班中看到的ㄧ句話
我解釋一下

某位藝人在節目中徵求約會對象,在拒絕10位不同女性來賓後
主持人語重心長的和他說了這句話

33歲了,在回頭看18歲心儀的女孩,現在也只剩70 80分
是因為年紀越大看的人越多,要求也越高

但是33歲了 不會有100分的女孩了!


結果在msn中,
33歲就不要執意尋找100分的女孩了!

這句話引起大家的迴響


上海熟男老總Phil說:33歲哪有100分的女孩,只有100分的熟女

我的好兄弟Adrian說:早就不該執意了,白歆惠都沒有100分了,不過我覺得她很可愛  身材又好  隨棠也正啦!所以可以找兩個50分的雙胞胎,就100分啦!!哈哈

學妹介紹給我我覺得狠可愛的戎小乖說:所以你說的33歲,是指你自己?我是絕得 也不用想這麼多 也不要一值給別人打分數 所以條件不等於FEEL

在台北名牌沙發店上班的Diane說:what made you say so ? well. no one is perfect  .  it doesn't matter how old you are

在上海最近相親了幾次的菲菲說 :'' 愛到了'' 就是100分啦!

成天不知道在幹捨麼的大小姐Livia說;神經病 因為你自己不是一百分阿 這是我說他學菲菲 沒創意後 他的回答!

在新加坡健身房工作的sylvia說:u will get a 200 perfect woman...

在郭首富集團上班的好兄弟Jerry說:33還要找處女嗎! 哈

我的好同學剛嫁做人婦的PUPU說;這抬頭,好無耐的感覺呀 你要找個男人腦的女人 XD (因為有個心裡測驗 驗出她是男人腦 ,她老公和我都是女人腦)


謝謝大家的熱心 男生和女生的想法徹底不同 大家的回答都狠妙!

星期日, 1月 28, 2007

“砂鍋魚頭“

由於雞湯和山藥排骨湯最近真的煮太多次了,所以決定換換不同的湯底。
在市場裡晃了一圈,最後決定挑戰大菜
“砂鍋魚頭“

買了鰱魚頭,選的時候還在想著老媽教的買魚的訣竅,鰓要紅魚肉要有彈性等等、、結果媽呀!!
魚頭被砍掉了可是嘴巴還在張呀張!新鮮的沒話說。

“砂鍋魚頭“做法

材料:
鰱魚頭一個(請魚販清理好並對剖開)
老豆腐一塊
蔥一把
薑兩塊
香菜一把
娃娃菜兩棵
黑白胡椒粒或粉一湯匙


做法:
1.魚頭用兩湯匙醬油醃過
2.大火起油鍋爆香蔥薑段
3.魚頭下鍋煎至兩面金黃(魚皮和膠質一定要煎過,魚湯才會奶白色)
4.將煎過的蔥薑段和魚頭放入砂鍋(預先裝八分滿水及胡椒粒)
5.大火煮沸之後改文火燉45分
6.放豆腐和娃娃菜再用文火燉20分
7.撒香菜及少許麻油即可起鍋
8.到最後還可以加入冬粉,再吃一頓

雖說是大菜但是其實還是滿簡單的,
濃濃奶白色的魚湯又香又稠,
冷冷的冬天在家煮一鍋非常適合!

星期四, 1月 25, 2007

An Incomplete Manifesto for Growth

Written in 1998, the Incomplete Manifesto is an articulation of statements that exemplify Bruce Mau's beliefs, motivations and strategies. It also articulates how the BMD studio works.

1. Allow events to change you. You have to be willing to grow. Growth is different from something that happens to you. You produce it. You live it. The prerequisites for growth: the openness to experience events and the willingness to be changed by them.

2. Forget about good. Good is a known quantity. Good is what we all agree on. Growth is not necessarily good. Growth is an exploration of unlit recesses that may or may not yield to our research. As long as you stick to good you'll never have real growth.

3. Process is more important than outcome. When the outcome drives the process we will only ever go to where we've already been. If process drives outcome we may not know where we’re going, but we will know we want to be there.

4. Love your experiments (as you would an ugly child). Joy is the engine of growth. Exploit the liberty in casting your work as beautiful experiments, iterations, attempts, trials, and errors. Take the long view and allow yourself the fun of failure every day.

5. Go deep. The deeper you go the more likely you will discover something of value.

6. Capture accidents. The wrong answer is the right answer in search of a different question. Collect wrong answers as part of the process. Ask different questions.

7. Study. A studio is a place of study. Use the necessity of production as an excuse to study. Everyone will benefit.

8. Drift. Allow yourself to wander aimlessly. Explore adjacencies. Lack judgment. Postpone criticism.

9. Begin anywhere. John Cage tells us that not knowing where to begin is a common form of paralysis. His advice: begin anywhere.

10. Everyone is a leader. Growth happens. Whenever it does, allow it to emerge. Learn to follow when it makes sense. Let anyone lead.

11. Harvest ideas. Edit applications. Ideas need a dynamic, fluid, generous environment to sustain life. Applications, on the other hand, benefit from critical rigor. Produce a high ratio of ideas to applications.

12. Keep moving. The market and its operations have a tendency to reinforce success. Resist it. Allow failure and migration to be part of your practice.

13. Slow down. Desynchronize from standard time frames and surprising opportunities may present themselves.

14. Don’t be cool. Cool is conservative fear dressed in black. Free yourself from limits of this sort.

15. Ask stupid questions. Growth is fueled by desire and innocence. Assess the answer, not the question. Imagine learning throughout your life at the rate of an infant.

16. Collaborate. The space between people working together is filled with conflict, friction, strife, exhilaration, delight, and vast creative potential.

17. ____________________. Intentionally left blank. Allow space for the ideas you haven’t had yet, and for the ideas of others.

18. Stay up late. Strange things happen when you’ve gone too far, been up too long, worked too hard, and you're separated from the rest of the world.

19. Work the metaphor. Every object has the capacity to stand for something other than what is apparent. Work on what it stands for.

20. Be careful to take risks. Time is genetic. Today is the child of yesterday and the parent of tomorrow. The work you produce today will create your future.

21. Repeat yourself. If you like it, do it again. If you don’t like it, do it again.

22. Make your own tools. Hybridize your tools in order to build unique things. Even simple tools that are your own can yield entirely new avenues of exploration. Remember, tools amplify our capacities, so even a small tool can make a big difference.

23. Stand on someone’s shoulders. You can travel farther carried on the accomplishments of those who came before you. And the view is so much better.

24. Avoid software. The problem with software is that everyone has it.

25. Don’t clean your desk. You might find something in the morning that you can’t see tonight.

26. Don’t enter awards competitions. Just don’t. It’s not good for you.

27. Read only left-hand pages. Marshall McLuhan did this. By decreasing the amount of information, we leave room for what he called our "noodle."

28. Make new words. Expand the lexicon. The new conditions demand a new way of thinking. The thinking demands new forms of expression. The expression generates new conditions.

29. Think with your mind. Forget technology. Creativity is not device-dependent.

30. Organization = Liberty. Real innovation in design, or any other field, happens in context. That context is usually some form of cooperatively managed enterprise. Frank Gehry, for instance, is only able to realize Bilbao because his studio can deliver it on budget. The myth of a split between "creatives" and "suits" is what Leonard Cohen calls a 'charming artifact of the past.'

31. Don’t borrow money. Once again, Frank Gehry’s advice. By maintaining financial control, we maintain creative control. It’s not exactly rocket science, but it’s surprising how hard it is to maintain this discipline, and how many have failed.

32. Listen carefully. Every collaborator who enters our orbit brings with him or her a world more strange and complex than any we could ever hope to imagine. By listening to the details and the subtlety of their needs, desires, or ambitions, we fold their world onto our own. Neither party will ever be the same.

33. Take field trips. The bandwidth of the world is greater than that of your TV set, or the Internet, or even a totally immersive, interactive, dynamically rendered, object-oriented, real-time, computer graphic–simulated environment.

34. Make mistakes faster. This isn’t my idea -- I borrowed it. I think it belongs to Andy Grove.

35. Imitate. Don’t be shy about it. Try to get as close as you can. You'll never get all the way, and the separation might be truly remarkable. We have only to look to Richard Hamilton and his version of Marcel Duchamp’s large glass to see how rich, discredited, and underused imitation is as a technique.

36. Scat. When you forget the words, do what Ella did: make up something else ... but not words.

37. Break it, stretch it, bend it, crush it, crack it, fold it.

38. Explore the other edge. Great liberty exists when we avoid trying to run with the technological pack. We can’t find the leading edge because it’s trampled underfoot. Try using old-tech equipment made obsolete by an economic cycle but still rich with potential.

39. Coffee breaks, cab rides, green rooms. Real growth often happens outside of where we intend it to, in the interstitial spaces -- what Dr. Seuss calls "the waiting place." Hans Ulrich Obrist once organized a science and art conference with all of the infrastructure of a conference -- the parties, chats, lunches, airport arrivals — but with no actual conference. Apparently it was hugely successful and spawned many ongoing collaborations.

40. Avoid fields. Jump fences. Disciplinary boundaries and regulatory regimes are attempts to control the wilding of creative life. They are often understandable efforts to order what are manifold, complex, evolutionary processes. Our job is to jump the fences and cross the fields.

41. Laugh. People visiting the studio often comment on how much we laugh. Since I've become aware of this, I use it as a barometer of how comfortably we are expressing ourselves.

42. Remember. Growth is only possible as a product of history. Without memory, innovation is merely novelty. History gives growth a direction. But a memory is never perfect. Every memory is a degraded or composite image of a previous moment or event. That’s what makes us aware of its quality as a past and not a present. It means that every memory is new, a partial construct different from its source, and, as such, a potential for growth itself.

43. Power to the people. Play can only happen when people feel they have control over their lives. We can't be free agents if we’re not free.

星期二, 12月 19, 2006

零下飄香的蒜頭板栗燉雞湯

最近天氣越來越冷,上海都零下了,雖然還沒有下雪,但是冷風可真刺骨。今天我們準備的“板栗蒜頭雞湯“,蒜頭抗感冒,板栗是秋冬的時令產物,在這冷冷寒冬,來碗雞湯麵或是煮粥都非常適合。

材料:
蒜頭3大棵
板栗10個
乾香菇5朵
新鮮香菇5朵
雞1隻
上海細蔥6支
薑3厚片

做法:
1, 雞切塊穿燙約7分鐘
2, 板栗蒜頭撥殼去皮和蔥薑香菇,皆放入砂鍋中
3, 注入“冷水“(讓原料由水温的慢慢升高而充分釋放營養和香味)蓋鍋開大火,切忌在水滾前開蓋
4, 約十分鐘後轉小火續燉一小時左右


(在上海買的雞都很油,如果嫌雞湯太油可以放入冰箱中冷藏一晚,隔天取出將保鮮膜按在油表面,就可以輕易將過多的油去除)

星期一, 12月 18, 2006

又去了 "廉價的妓院"

為了找帥氣的底底,在交友網路上找了好久! 也為了將來小孩的毛色、體型大小和M爭論不休。
在上海不是一個可以放心找對象的地方,不只上海的人不讓人放心,連上海的狗也不讓人放心。最後因為某種疲累的因素,我們放棄了在網路交友,決定回去找當初的販子。
 
對方是個50歳的上海女人,以狗維生,語言方式有著上海式的過分熱情,拼命的拉著皮條,我們也就順勢答應了,想說先去看看貨,想說看完後還保有最後一絲拒絕的權力。

氣溫在零度的上海街道上,走在80年代的上海公房昏暗巷弄中,眼前出現了上海夜間獨有的“紅睡衣魔人“開口又用那過分熱情但是又不熟練的普通話,一邊帶我們開門入房,一邊努力的化解我們不安和疑慮,善於拒絕的我並不買帳,面對那樣的面孔,我拒絕的非常自然。在他急迫的上海話催促下,終於皮條客來了,我們看到貨了。

眼前跳出一大一小兩團褐色毛球,遍地亂鑽,年輕的活力在四處散撥著,牆角,椅柱邊,他都翹起腳留下記號。媽的!!讓我在心中暗罵死少年仔,等下就要被你上了,現在還那麼囂張。

又是半推半就的情節,價錢定了。
但接下來半個小時的時間,讓我對“配種“這兩個字有著全新的定義......


配種步驟

1,皮條客A抓住母狗的前肢,皮條客B抓住後肢並將母狗的尾巴用拇指掰開,並將母狗的陰戶用雙指撐開。

2,公狗於後方猴急的重複著活塞動作,縱然不管陰莖進入陰道沒有。

3,由於公狗體型小於母狗,陰莖遲遲無法進入陰道,所以決定打開大門,利用地面的高低差。

4,在皮條客和紅睡衣魔人的幫忙下,公狗終於進入了母狗的陰道。

5,公狗騎上母狗,射出第一部分精液(攝護腺分泌液),公狗的龜頭部分會腫大起來並鎖在母狗陰道內,兩隻狗聯在一齊。

6,當連在一齊,皮條客拿出事後煙,等待公狗的龜頭消腫。

就在昏黃老舊的樓梯口,小綿羊用無奈的眼神回頭望著我 ,讓我心中自責,就這樣獻出了第一次。


最後我在數錢的時候,真的感覺我在廉價的妓院。


討厭的是還在後面,為了配種成功,兩日後我又要回到這個地方,劇情又要重演一遍。

星期五, 12月 15, 2006

想要.......




小綿羊 : [今天早上一起床 就怪怪的 全身軟呼呼 又不知道哪裡不對 總是覺得怪怪內!]



網路上找到的交配步驟:

1.當決定母狗交配日期,在交配那一天將母狗帶到公狗住處。母狗在她自己的地盤會比較有攻擊性,而公狗在交配上要有信心,主動與果斷,交配才能順利,可讓公母狗在交配前互相熟悉,有些母狗會拒絕與不熟悉的公狗交配。必要時,你要緊緊帶住你的母狗,以免防害公狗。

2.當母狗願意進行交配,她的尾巴會歪向一邊,公狗騎上母狗,射出第一部分精液(攝護腺分泌液),公狗的龜頭部分會腫大起來並鎖在母狗陰道內,兩隻狗聯在一齊。

3.“聯在一齊”後約一分鐘,公狗自母狗背上下來,形成尾部與尾部相連(公狗繼續射精)。如此約20分鐘才結束,不可勉強或不自然的將兩隻狗分開。

4.全部交配過程,你最好“隨侍在側”有些母狗會變得兇猛或劇烈捻轉身體。



狗有步驟 ,人有沒有? 哈哈阿!!